Why screens cannot replace real conversation, and the simple everyday swaps that help toddlers build language.
Most of us have handed our toddler a phone at some point just to get through a phone call, a supermarket queue or a long drive. I’m a mum of two, and I’ve been there too. This isn’t about guilt. It’s about understanding what’s happening in those little brains, and making small changes that make a big difference.
Over the past few years, I’ve noticed a real shift. Children have a love-hate relationship with screens, and it’s now showing up in our classrooms. Educators are seeing more children start school with speech and language delays, and parents are often surprised, because their child seemed “fine” at home.
Children learn to talk by talking. Every time you respond to your baby’s babble, name the banana they’re pointing at, or ask your toddler what they built with their blocks, you’re having what speech and language therapists call a “serve and return” conversation.
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A screen can’t do that. Even the most educational show can’t pause when your child points, can’t wait for their answer, and can’t change its words to match what they’re trying to say. Children may watch and even repeat words, but they aren’t practising the real skill of conversation.
And it’s not just their screens. It’s ours. When we’re scrolling on our phones, we’re talking less, making less eye contact, and missing the little moments where language grows. A toddler tugging at your leg to show you something is an invitation to talk. If we’re looking down, that moment passes.
Here’s something I talk about a lot. Children today have a very different imagination to the one we had even 30 years ago. We don’t let them get bored anymore. The moment there’s a quiet patch, a screen fills it, partly because of technology and partly because we, as parents, worry when our children are bored.
I know it sounds silly, but boredom is a gift. When a child is bored, that’s when their creative side comes out. A cardboard box becomes a rocket. A wooden spoon becomes a microphone. That imaginative play is where so much language develops, and it’s exactly what screens take away. We’ve all been there. Your child is bored or overwhelmed at a café or the shops, they can’t regulate, and the meltdown begins. People stare, and some can be downright mean. In that moment, handing over a screen feels like the best outcome for everyone, and I completely understand why. But cutting corners to quickly solve a difficult moment doesn’t mean it’s helping your child. These are the moments when children learn to wait, cope and calm down, with you beside them. Try a small pouch of toys, an “I spy” game, or simply naming their feelings out loud.
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The World Health Organization recommends no sedentary screen time for children under two, and no more than one hour a day for children aged two to four, with less being better. Think of it as something to work towards, not a test you’re failing.
You don’t need to throw out the tablet. Small, realistic swaps add up quickly. Swap the car screen for a car chat. Sing songs, play “I spy”, or talk about what you can see out the window. Car time is fantastic talking time. Swap background TV for background quiet. Even when nobody is watching, a TV on in the background means parents talk to their children less.
Swap the tablet at dinner for a “best part of your day” game. Everyone shares one thing. Toddlers can share with a word or a point, and you can build on it.
Swap a show at bedtime for a book. Bedtime stories are one of the richest language moments of the day. Point at pictures, ask “what’s happening here?”, and let them finish familiar lines. A calm, screen-free wind-down also helps with sleep, and better sleep supports better learning.
Swap “go and watch something” for “go and play”. Set up a simple basket of open-ended toys, like blocks, playdough, pots and pans or dressing-up clothes, and let them be bored for a little while. Resist the urge to rescue them.
Narrate your day. While you cook, fold washing or walk to the park, talk about what you’re doing. “I’m cutting the red apple. Crunch! Do you want a piece?” It’s pure gold for language.
Bring your nanny or carer on board. In the UAE, many children spend a big part of their day with a nanny. Share your screen rules and these swaps with them, so your child gets the same consistent message all day.
Every child develops at their own pace, but trust your gut. If your child isn’t babbling by 12 months, has no words by around 16 months, isn’t putting two words together by age two, or seems to be losing words they once had, it’s worth speaking to a speech and language therapist. A hearing check is always a great first step.
Many parents wait for school to pick things up, but the early years are where support makes the biggest difference. Getting in early isn’t about labelling your child. It’s about giving them every tool they need.
Screens are part of modern life, and that’s okay. But nothing replaces you. Your voice, your face, your silly songs and your conversations are what your child needs most. So put the phone down, get down on the floor, and let them be a little bit bored. You might be amazed at what they come up with.
